In the beginning...

Once upon a time, I liked children. My cousins have the most adorable children in the world (there are statistics to prove it). I could hold a baby forever or play hide and seek with the older kids. I would think about how many children I wanted when I got older. That was then.

Five years ago, I began working at a zoo. At the zoo, there are screaming children. At the zoo, there are screaming parents. At the zoo, there are spoiled children. At the zoo, there are parents who spoil their children so much that they practically force expensive crap on them. At the zoo, there are people who have forgotten any manners they may have once been taught. At the zoo, there are parents who teach their children to be douchebags. This is now.

I still think my cousin's kids are adorable and if I'm feeling daring, I'll play a game with them. But ever since I started working at the zoo, I've thought that I have come to hate children. As I look back on all these life experiences, I come to one conclusion: I still like children; I just hate your children.

It's not the idea of children that I hate. I'm pro-child. It's the disasters that parents raise that I am opposed to. Moral of the story: I hate your children because of you. Let me tell you a few stories and I think you'll see my point.