Bluff

As I was working the cash register the other day, I witnessed a child of about 7 maybe 8 become very distraught over the fact that his parents would not buy him both of the stuffed animals that he so desired. His brother had accepted the fact that he could only get one and had contently placed it on the counter. However, the distraught boy stood in front of the counter staring longingly at both stuffed animals and pleaded with his parents to purchase both because he simply could not choose. Don't make him choose. The choice was clear to me: his brother was the one they should keep and the distraught boy should be put back where they found him. Of course, the parents attempted to lay down the law.

"You need to make a choice or else I'll put them both back," his dad told him.

This did not make the distraught boy choose any faster. In fact, it slowed him down because he became more distraught.

"You have to decide. The lady is waiting for us" his mom added.

I have grown accustomed to being called "the lady." I really was not fond of it when I was sixteen. I'm not sure what alternative I would suggest. Perhaps "The kind gentlewoman is waiting for us." I don't get it as bad as my brother who is often too called "the lady." [Random side note: On Mother's Day, a woman wished me a Happy Mother's Day. While, yes, I am a female who could possibly be a mother, I think I'm a little young looking. I wanted to reply with "No, I have not pushed a child out of my vagina yet" but instead I looked confusingly at the woman. I think I made my point though.]

So the distraught boy is being pressured by both his parents now. His dad has stated several times that he will put both of them back if the boy does not decided RIGHT NOW! Ok, sir, I know that you are trying to get your son to choose by giving him the choice of one or neither, but think this through. First of all, he doesn't need another choice right now. Second, even I can see through this bluff, of course, I am a professional but still. Let's look at the facts. There's no one behind you in line and I'm not going anywhere so you're not inconveniencing others. And you've given him the ultimatum about six times. If it had any power before, it's definitely lost it by now.

Finally, since the distraught boy did not choose, his father, proving that he was bluffing before, did a quick eeny-meeny-miny-moe (I mean a really quick one, not even a catch-a-tiger-by-the-toe) and chose one of the stuffed animals for his son. His son then chose to buy the other one. After the mother paid for it, her son ripped the tag off.

"This one's ripped" he said to his mother.

"Go get a different one then" she said to her son without even asking me first.

(Of course, I would have let him take another but it's at least nice for them to ask first.)

As his mother handed me the stuffed animal, I looked to see the rip that was, lo and behold, right where the tag used to be.

I hate your children.